For my entire life up to this class, I was very much subconsciously subscribed to the scarcity mentality that tells this common story: any other woman’s beauty and sexuality is a very real and imminent threat, not only to my relationship security but also negates my worth and value in this world.
The exquisite container that Audrey creates held the first opportunity for me to look at and process these deep subconscious patterning.
On our first day together, she laid the groundwork of what she is really doing in this series: creating a space of deep support and trust between women, so then all of us can heal & flourish together, and then express the entirety of ourselves and carry that into the rest of our lives and to enrich the expression of the Feminine in every woman we meet.
I had multiple adverse experiences in my youth, especially in Catholic high school, where I was publicly shamed and excluded for my exuberant sexuality. Hiding my sexuality and sensuality became my adaptive response to ensure my safety and that I would be included and ‘liked’. This led to a few years of excessive drinking, which was the only time my guard was low enough for me to express my sexuality... which as you may imagine usually did not end very well, and the cycle of shame continued.
Years later, this class series catalyzed the deep healing that I didn’t even know I needed. I remember the first moment Audrey told us about the CatWalk exercise... it took everything in me to not run out of the room & vomit, I was so instantly in fight or flight thinking about other women watching me express myself sensually. However, by the last week of class this exercise became my favorite thing and I would have keep going for hours because it was so much fun! I was in awe that each woman could be so honored, held, and supported for their unique sensual and sexual expressions..
I am so grateful to have done this in my last few months I was in Portland. It sincerely changed my life for the better in countless ways, because it opened me up to the deep transformation and healing my soul needed around the entire Feminine. The fun of the costumes and final show were just a cherry on top of the most deeply nourishing dance class I have ever participated in!
Thank you always Madam Steele.